Welcome back, friend! I’m super excited to write about this topic. If you’ve read any of my other content, you’ve probably picked up on the “spiritual” side of me. I proudly buy into a whole lot of what some might call “hippie-dippie bullshit”–call it what you want, I’m here for it.

So a little background on how this post became a reality:

Karmic Relationships, Twin Flames, and Soulmates. Two of the three I had never heard of until just this past week. When I first heard them, I couldn’t help but deep dive into the web at embarrassing length. Article after article, I just kept reading without end and ultimately became an uncertified expert.

Now that I’ve had a few days to step back and simmer on my initial thoughts, I decided it would be fun to discuss.

To start, it’s my uneducated opinion that you don’t necessarily have to consider yourself a spiritual person in order to take away valuable insight from each of these concepts. I have found that many spiritual concepts frequently align with clinical or scientific observations. Aka, from my perspective, each party has a different name and interpretation for similar settings/behaviors. As such, if you’ve never had much exposure to spiritual practices or beliefs, don’t be intimidated by the “hippie” terminology. I like to think spirituality takes science and adds meaning on a larger scale.

That being said, I’ve decided to break the concepts down in a specific order–as you’ll come to find out, all three can be misinterpreted as one another if you’re not careful. So we’re gonna attempt to walk through this in a digestible manner.

Twin Flame

My personal favorite of the three. The simplest way I can describe a “twin flame” is someone who is a mirror of yourself. It is thought that twin flames are a split of the same soul. Two halves of the same whole. You both exist to challenge each other, serve as an honest reflection, and have insurmountable impacts on one another’s lives.

This relationship excites me the most as it boils down to a growth-based experience. While this relationship rarely lasts forever, it’s one of those where even once you grow apart from your twin flame, you forever respect and honor one another. Because they are you. And you are them. You know what I mean?

Some basic characteristics of this type of relationship:

• Not necessarily with a romantic partner. A twin-flame can be with a mentor, a boss, a friend, or family member.
• You each serve as a mirror to one another. They reflect back who you are and who you want to be.
• It can be very emotionally charged. As can the karmic and soulmate relationships, which is one area where you can confuse the three.
• The relationship is full of challenge (and ultimately, growth). Often times a twin-flame can be challenging as the relationship can bring out some of your greatest insecurities and irrational behavior.
• It typically doesn’t last forever. You eventually go your own ways or experience a lot of back and forth, or both.

I felt the deepest connection to this concept. With each article I read, I felt an increasingly noticeable connection to my mom. I have no doubt in my mind we served as each other’s twin flame.

We held each other to the highest standards, we cheered each other on louder than anyone else, and we both saw ourselves in one another’s eyes–strengths and weaknesses, alike. Our souls were undoubtedly in agreement that we would serve as mentors to one another until our time was up. And that’s exactly what we did. I pushed her to prioritize herself, to not take things so serious and soak up every moment of her life to the fullest. She pushed me to find meaning in every experience–good or bad, to work harder than anyone else, and to find compassion, especially in times where I felt none.

It’s so interesting to think that I fought AND loved the hardest of my entire life with her. Twin flames, to a T.

Karmic Relationships

Woof. This one is spicy.

Basically every word I read on the subject felt like a direct attack on every romantic relationship I’ve ever had. 🙂 So that was neat.

Fortunately, once I got out of my deep dive, I realized that’s by design. And that all of us will likely experience one or more of these relational dynamics.

Typical characteristics of a Karmic Relationship:

• Instant connection and attraction. From the moment you meet, you both feel the undeniable pull, like you’ve known each other forever. (That’s a soul thing, btw.)
• A lot of back and forth. You break it off only to eventually end up trying again and again, expecting a different outcome.
• Selfishness on one or both sides. One or both of you is guilty of regularly putting themselves ahead of the other partner or the relationship itself.
• Volatile as HAIL. This is a telltale sign of a karmic relationship. It’s either burning hot or icy cold and extremely hard to maintain.
• Mimics codependency. You feel a sort of “addiction” to the relationship or the partner. Despite red flags waving in your face, you just can’t seem to fathom letting go and intensely fear what might happen if you did.
• Doesn’t last. As illustrated by the previous characteristics, a karmic relationship is inherently unsustainable.

As you may have gathered by this point, karmic relationships are toxic and unhealthy by nature. Which totally sucks given what I’m about to add.

The spiritual perspective on karmic relationships is that you and your partner’s souls have made an agreement to teach each other a life-altering lesson. That bond you felt? That’s your souls being in an age-old agreement. You were going to cross paths eventually–it was inevitable. And once you do, it’s almost impossible to walk away, especially if you haven’t learned whatever lesson it is that is required for you to expand and elevate. If you do leave this relationship without having taken away the required lesson–you will continue to have repeated experiences in other relationships until you discover the lesson.

Okay but this is where I have to chime in.

SO, what we’re saying here is that I am *required* to meet this person whom I’m to have a karmic relationship with. Not only will we meet, but we’ll have a burning fiery passion for one another. ??? Okay, neat. THEN you’re telling me that it’s all just a road trip for each of us to uncover some hidden mystery lesson that’s going to supposedly change our lives? Only for said lesson to lead us to go on, SEPARATELY, and be these new “bettered” versions of ourselves ?? K, that’s fucked and I hate it.

I will say, in my personal experience, I have without a doubt experienced karmic relationships, both romantically and otherwise. One of which, illuminated my inability to be vulnerable, the other, shed light on the dark side of my inner-self.

Both, however, dissolved into constant tension, an inability to communicate–no matter how much we spoke–and overwhelming friction that ultimately led to the end of the relationship.

My own personal qualms aside–spiritual beliefs go on to regard karmic relationships as massively powerful for personal growth.

“They’re opportunities to learn something about yourself that you never knew before, as well as the most significant life lessons in love.” says Sanam Hafeez, PsyD, a neuropsychologist and faculty member at Columbia University.

So it’s not all doom and gloom, but still, I’m not loving the vibe here.

Lastly, while it’s common to experience this in romantic partner (especially in young relationships), it can also exist between family members, friends, or even brief encounters.

Ultimately, if you find yourself in this type of relationship–the general consensus is to quit drinking the kool-aid and get out ASAP. You’ll be grateful in the long-run.

To hear more thoughts on this and how I’ve recently had a breakthrough in this department, check out the post “Karmic Relationships IRL“.

Soulmates

And finally, the one we’ve all heard a million times.

Whether you “buy into” the concept of a soulmate or what your opinions are as far as the “rules” around the concept–this is what I call “your person”.

Your soulmate is the one where its easy like Sunday morning.

Ugh, the dream right??

Typical Characteristics of a Soulmate:

• Smooth sailing, emotionally-speaking. There is often much less intensity in this type of relationship. That’s not to say there isn’t passion or attraction–it just typically isn’t the intense, over the top, dramatic experience that can exist in a twin-flame or karmic relationship. Soulmate emotions are much more controlled, maintainable, and stable.
• There’s no questions. When you meet your soulmate, you won’t find yourself asking “is he/she right for me?” The connection is natural and soothing.
• You’re a team first and foremost. Every relationship is bound to have conflict and maybe even some drama from time to time. What’s different about the dynamic with a soulmate, is that no matter what, you’re in it for the long-haul. You choose each other and are willing to work through anything.

I personally believe we don’t have just one soulmate. I believe we have more–how many? Unsure. But I do believe it’s our responsibility to pay attention to the cues and lessons we’re given in our relationships–romantic or not–and honor ourselves in knowing we’re on a predestined path to something big. <3

---

I would seriously be interested in discussing your thoughts on these concepts. Do you believe you get more than one soulmate–or just one? What are some experiences where you’re not sure if it was a twin-flame or karmic relationship? Its all just so interesting to me and I love bouncing ideas around with others.

As always, thanks for being here. And if you want to talk spiritual relationships–hit a sister up.