Man do I love a new year. We really are just like all the memes mock, running around like we’re these fresh little babies just entering the world with all the potential and none of the bad habits of our previous years on this earth.
But I’m gonna enjoy that shit while it lasts okay. Reality will settle in soon enough!
I thought I’d do a round up of the “stuff” that I’m ditching in 2024 and things I will absolutely be brining into the new year. But once I started down that rabbit hole, I realized this would quickly turn into a novel if I combined the two–so from beauty to relationships to finances, we’re going to start with the OUTs.
Professional Spray Tans
Listen, this one was a tough breakup and also the easiest breakup ever for me. I LOVE being tan. I want to be tan 99% of my existence. The other 1% reserved for those winter days where for some reason I decide being pale is such a ~chic~ look and really lean into it. And don’t get me wrong, I do not love having to apply a tan by hand all by my lonesome–I don’t even recruit Mason to help with my back. I legit do the entire thing myself.
That being said, I just cannot be bothered to BOOK an appt in advance, who knows what kind of mood I’ll be in at that future time?? Too much commitment for this girly. And then when said appt arrives, now I have to 1) have made sure that my body is fully prepped and have completed an everything-shower in advance of this appt 2) get in my car 3) DRIVE somewhere 4) potentially have to wait a couple mins in a lobby looking like a thumb, then stand buck neked in front of another human while freezing my ass off… AND THEN 5) PAY FOR THE EXPERIENCE?
Yeah go ahead and sign me up for the self-application whenever I damn want, shaved or not, 2pm or 2am, $60 bottle that lasts me 4983784972 tans, and complete privacy.
Now don’t get me wrong, NOTHING hits like a perfect professionally applied spray tan. Nothin. And my girl? She’s the best in the biz. I will absolutely be saving the professional tan for special occassions as necessary, but for the maintenance tans? I’m just not in a place in life where I can dedicate the mental energy to caring about it.
Literally the same exact train of thought applies here as to spray tans. Except the monetary requirement is exponentially higher, and boy will I never miss that “investment”. Same thing goes here though, I miss the LOOK of lash extensions every single day. I think if I ever went back, I’d do “natural” now instead of how I used to wear them… you know… looking like at any moment I may take flight.
Beyond the commitment of time & investment… thank the LORD the more natural look is finally taking the stage in 2024 anyways. With “glass skin” and slicked back buns and granola bitches running the world… we may never have to pay for lash extensions ever again ladies.
Coffee on the other hand… honestly this was an easy one. Please note: I did NOT say caffeine. Your girl will be caffeinated at all times in 2024, just not by coffee most days. Something about it feels so heavy now, as my trusty alternative is so light and refreshing and just perfection.
Even though I love my Americanos still, there is, yet again, something to be said for not having to leave for a coffee run. I just want everything I need within an arms reach in 2024, you know? I like to think I’m saving my energy for other shit I care more about.
I’m noticing a theme: convenience.
Luxury Items (frequently)
No one loves a luxury item more than I. I appreciate beautiful things, quality things, and shit that just plain feels like you’re wearing art.
However… when is it time to take a break? Or how does one determine the correct approach to luxury items?
I’ve settled on this: You can have anything you want, but not everything.
And that’s a sentiment I’ve applied to pretty much every aspect of my life.
Another beauty item I just can’t be bothered with in 2024. We’ve been over the drawbacks in the previous items. I would just like to reiterate: natural / soft beauty is officially IN. And I am here for it entirely.
We’ve all felt the impact of economic shifts over the past few years. As such, credit card balances in the United States have sky rocketed. I’m not here to shit talk doing whatever you need to do to get by. Leveraging tools like credit cards responsibly is sometimes a necessary evil. That being said, the second part of doing whatever you need to do–is getting that shit back under control.
Credit cards, traditional loans, lines of credit, mortgages, whatever it is: in 2024 I’m shifting some of my strategies to avoid interest expenses more than usual. Seeing hard earned $ go straight to the lender is just too painful when other options exist. Without opening a whole other can of worms, I don’t want to mislead–as I’m a passionate proponent of using OPM (other people’s money) whenever possible. Just make sure you’re educated on the risk and TRACKING your expenses ruthlessly. Interest is one expense that can be worth leveraging the cost, but also can so easily sneak up and rack up in no time if you aren’t paying close attention. So as for me, I’m avoiding it in 2024.
Now… on the flip side of the coin: take advantage of where market rates sit today. If you’re the lender, get that bread sis.
I love to think I’m someone who sees my life with eyes wide open. But then from time to time I’ll have a realization that absolutely shocks me and I can’t wrap my head around how I didn’t see it before. Personally, where I slip up the most, is always leaving a door open that should’ve been shut, locked, bolted, cemented over, ages ago. And by leaving the door open, I’ve convinced myself I’m a better person for it. Lord knows there’s nothing worse than choking on the smoke of bridges we burned. But what ends up happening, is I suffer the entire time by trying to have my cake and eat it too. From relationships to opportunities to our general beliefs about life–pick a damn position in 2024. Are you in or are you out? No more one foot in, one foot out b.s.
I’m learning that by trying to make everyone happy, or trying to ensure I don’t close a door that maybe I’ll want to walk through one day, or not taking a stance on something–I’m actually CHOOSING uncertainty. Then I sit around and wonder, hm, why does my life feel undefined / uncertain / slightly chaotic / lacking guidance? Idk betch maybe it’s because you won’t commit to anything. So let’s all agree to quit lying to ourselves and start trusting ourselves instead in 2024.
Trust your gut, listen to the soft voice in your head that’s constantly trying to tell you what you already know and then GO FOR IT. Whether that’s by diving into something or someone or some place, or confidently saying no, turning something or someone down, or releasing a tired belief. Stop trying to convince yourself that you’re somehow more powerful / wise / a better person by leaving all these rusty cobweb filled doors open. Shut that shit so you can look around and only see the doors you plan on proudly running through.
Because when it comes down to it, everything happens for a reason, so if fear is the thing holding you back from committing (like it often is for me)–then realize that if something doesn’t work out, it was never supposed to. Instead it was supposed to prepare you for the things that ARE going to work out.
And when it comes to relationships: it’s okay to shut the door on relationships that aren’t alive anymore or maybe shouldn’t be alive anymore. You know who you are, and by you choosing to shut that door for now, it doesn’t mean you’re someone who will never let it open again, if that’s what you want. I constantly feel so scared to make decisions about relationships, because I feel like if I let them die in my mind (aka close the door on them) then somehow I’ve made a FINAL decision that can’t ever be reversed.
And now I must be someone who “cuts people out” of her life–which is really just not a characterization I love or want to be associated with. And that’s just not the case. Stop making it so difficult on yourself. Use what you have now to make the best decision you can, lean all the way in, and then if you have to pivot down the road–AMAZING–pivot your heart out babe. Your symbolic doors are on hinges for a reason–to open AND close.
“Goal Jeans” and all clothes that just don’t fit right
High-key F#$K being uncomfortable in your own skin, let alone a piece of clothing. I literally spent years feeling so uncomfortable in pretty much anything except leggings and an oversized t-shirt. At some point, somethings gotta give. For me, it was the “in my skin” part. Lord knows I’m never going to abandon my most trusted bestie: the legging <3 So instead, I started loving myself enough to do the work and make some changes using every tool available to me. And for the first time maybe… ever, I am starting to not just tolerate, but ENJOY being in my skin. Which naturally, has translated to my clothing.
But before reaching that point, I finally let myself embrace where I was and therefore was able to release the shit I owned that no longer served me. I had a garage sale in 2023 and said goodbye to literally thousands of dollars worth of clothing & shoes that either: 1) did not fit me (and likely hadn’t for 5+ years tbh), 2) looked so good in my head, and did NOT in real life, 3) I had only been keeping because I felt like I “had” to or “should”.
Regarding #3, WHAT a weird f#$king thing to do. Like what piece of clothing falls under the category that one “SHOULD” always have?? Odd choice for my brand tbh. It was things like “goal jeans” *insert the biggest eye roll*, old blazers… bitch WHEN DO YOU WEAR THESE and more importantly, WHY ARE YOU KEEPING THE BLAZERS THAT NO LONGER FIT YOUR ARMS AND HAVEN’T SINCE YOU WERE A SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL???? Amazing question, and one that I finally answered to myself with “You’re so right–goodbye shameful blazers and F&#K goal jeans”.
So whether it’s a matter of addressing your massively outdated closet–whether in actual style or outdated in sizing or fit–OR addressing your physical body so that it will translate to the clothing experience–get rid of the shit that no longer serves you!!! Or like I did, a hybrid of the two. Regardless, let’s just all agree to longer hoard clothes that just plain don’t serve us.
“Blood is thicker” Mentality
First off, the GP seems to be unaware that if you complete that quote in its entirety, its actually the exact antithesis of how the phrase is generally intended.
Full quote: “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” The saying means that chosen bonds are more significant than the bonds with family or “water of the womb.” More directly, it means that relationships you make yourself are far more important than the ones that you don’t choose.
In all seriousness though, I value my relationships above all else–especially the ones with my biological family. And that’s something I think about often in relation to my future children. I want to instill that sentiment in them as well, but it is irrational to believe that such a simple statement can be applied simply in real life. We are far more complex creatures than that and perpetuating generational trauma is a real thing that must be addressed.
At the end of the day, life has taught me your “family” is defined by the people you choose and who choose you back–blood or not. And as far as I’m concerned, anyone who does NOT fall into that bucket, may have room to repair the relationship if the right circumstances arise, but in the meantime, does not need a seat at my table. And starting in 2024, I will never beg to be at another table again.
May we all be surrounded by genuine & healthy relationships with those we love in this and every year.
As always, thank you for being here and may 2024 be your best year yet!
Join me for a list of IN’s soon–I’ll link it here when available. <3