Holy shit did I have a breakthrough recently.
I was sitting here writing the “Twin Flame, Karmic Relationships, and Soulmates” post and it suddenly dawned on me.
My so called, “karmic” partners (romantic and friends) were a reflection of everything I didn’t like about myself.*
*Side note: That is not to say these people were “bad” people. Or mistreated me. Or anything negative. I mean to say, the things I nitpicked about them, the areas *I* labeled as “flaws”, were actually mirrors of my own weaknesses that I had yet to acknowledge.
WOOF. That hurts to boldly put out into the world and FINALLY take responsibility for.
Over time, I have become familiar with the concept that everyone and everything around us is always a mirror. We just mirror all damn day long. Whatever is going on around us, is actually rooted to something inside of us. Other people simply serve as a mirror into ourselves. It’s up to us whether we look or not.
It’s not until this moment that I FINALLY understand. I thought I did, but I see now that I did not. I understood the concept, but didn’t know how to apply it to my own life and tap into the mirrors I’m shown every day.
To illustrate, I’ve created a (life changing) and also very illustrative table of thoughts that have gone through my head about a significant other or friend at one point in time or another, and what they actually should’ve mirrored back to me.
Gosh, it makes me emotional to go through each of those and really take a hard look at what they mirror back about myself. Some hit deeper than others–it’s a lot to digest.
How weird though, that (I imagine), as a reader, none of what I listed above seems that groundbreaking.
Even to myself I’m like, okay…duh? But man, when it’s YOU in the relationship its so easy to dismiss those mirrors as simply “flaws” in the other person. “Hey, it ain’t my problem that my boyfriend won’t let people into his life and has a generally pessimistic outlook on life. Not *my* prob–that’s all him. I know better. I’m just gonna sit over here, drink my marg and pray he finds his way.”
Whether it’s your significant other, a parent, a friend… I’m really starting to learn that whatever “flaws” I’m seeing in them, may be pointing directly at something hiding beneath my own surface.
Note: Before we move on, I want to clarify. That’s not to say that whatever “flaw” you’re identifying in someone else is the EXACT issue you need to address within yourself. Revisit my table above. The judgements I held against another person weren’t necessarily the exact problem I needed to address, they simply served as triggers for my own issues.
I’m going to start asking myself “why does their trait bother me so much?”
Here’s an example lived out:
Them: Constantly offering heavy, unproductive, and darn right pessimistic input on just about everything.
Me: *Very triggered by this behavior and directly offended by that kind of thinking because I’m generally bright and optimistic.*
– Initial reaction: “This person has a seriously dark outlook on life.”
– Mirror observation: “I am generally optimistic and this person’s pessimistic behavior triggers the parts of me that doubt the good of the world. I recognize that I’ve been deeply hurt in the past and survived serious trauma, which has caused me to second guess the light of the world sometimes and that’s okay. Life still gets to be good.”
Does that help break it down? While on the surface what the mirror illustrates isn’t too difficult to see. It’s the self-awareness that is necessary to fully observe the depth of the mirror and address it at its root.
Can you imagine how different I would look at other people’s pessimism once I’ve worked through my own trigger around it? I could then experience that type of thinking and be UNBOTHERED. I no longer have to buy into the pessimism nor be offended by it. How freeing??
I challenge you to open up your perspective and be willing to see mirrors when they present themselves to you. It may take some practice (as it did, and will continue to in my own experience), but the more we practice being aware and open to what the mirror might be indicating to us, the easier and easier it will get.
As always, thank you x a million for being here. We will continue to grow and push ourselves in this life, always striving for higher enlightenment and greater purpose.