Hosting 101: The Basics

Hosting can feel daunting–there’s a lot to keep in the balance: setting a tone, creating ambiance, keeping your guests entertained, wined & dined, and doing your best to enjoy the occasion yourself!

The older I get, the more hosting is becoming an art that I am very interested in perfecting. I anticipate that will take years to come and events can only get better and better with each new lesson learned! One day I hope to have a large family and to be the household that proudly hosts multiple generations for holidays to come. In the meantime… I’m practicing with my favorite humans–our friends!

So this year I’m trying my hand at a Friendsgiving dinner party of around 15 people. And no, it’s not a potluck. We will be responsible for the entire meal and boy am I excited for the challenge! In working on preparations for said event, I have been thinking through the process of hosting and decided this would be a good opportunity to cover some of the basics!

Establish the Framework

Ask yourself a few questions to create a framework for futher details:

• Is this uber-casual, fun but put together, formal, following a specific theme?
• Choose a style or establish your theme. Ie: Cozy Friendsgiving Meal or our annual Après Ski Holiday party. One is a style, the other is true themed event.
• Who / how many people are you inviting? I personally love events with a healthy mix of people–it keeps conversation lively and gives people an opportunity to make new friends/network.
• When should your event occur? Make sure you have enough time to adequately plan & prepare and give your guests enough notice.

Set your Guest List & Send Invites

I like to create a tentative guest list ahead of time and then edit it over the course of a day or two, it’s typical to accidentally forget someone when you’re trying to create your list! Drafting your invites ahead of time gives you a chance to review it and make sure you haven’t forgotten anyone you want to be there!

Create your invites. Whether that’s a cute template from Canva, a simple text, or creating an event on Facebook–I’d recommend creating invites that match the formality of your event when possible. The more formal the event–the more formal the invites need to be. As someone who literally invited her wedding guests via text-message, sometimes this cardinal rule can be broken, but just know, its a bit tacky. Our uber short timeline sort of forced me into a corner on that one but in a perfect world–something as formal as a wedding needs formal paper invites & RSVPs. A casual hang: you’re good to shoot out a quick text. A themed party, I’d go with a facebook event.

The thing I love about Facebook events is the practicality. Guests have all the details at their fingertips! Assuming you utilize the options available–they should have everything they need to know within reach and thus eliminating the need for repetitive text questions in your inbox of guests needing clarity on any details or appropriate attire!

Rule of Thumb for Invites / Providing Notice:

The more important & the more prep required from guests = the longer lead time you need to provide.

• Weddings, Galas, Formal Events: 6-8 months for Save the Dates, then 8-12 weeks for official invites.
• Holiday Parties: 4-6 Weeks (Holiday schedules fill up quickly, you’ll have the best turnout if you give guests ample lead time, but not so much that they forget about your event altogether!)
• Dinner Parties / Casual Gatherings: 1-2 Weeks (Low pressure but enough time for guests to check their availability & plan accordingly — basically, it’s just respectful to give some notice.)
• Birthday Parties: Adults (2-4 Weeks depending on guest list & guest requirements, ie. travel, etc.), Kids (2-3 Weeks)
• Themed Parties: 2-4 Weeks so guests can plan their attire, prep food if needed, and arrange for childcare, etc.
• Last Minute Get-Togethers: 1-2 Days

Other Tips:

• Use multiple formats if sending physical invites. Physical invites add a special, more formal touch but aren’t as functional as e-vites. So it’s good to have something electronic that guests can utilize to find event details on the go, ie. dates, times, locations, and attire.
• Set RSVP deadlines. This helps you know who to expect and how to prepare food, drinks, etc appropriately. While not necessary, the more formal the event or the larger the gathering, the more important it will be to know how many guests you’re expecting.
• Send out reminders 1-2 days before to stay front of mind in busy schedules!

Create a Timeline for Preparation

Assuming we’re not talking about something ultra formal, a safe preparation schedule would be as follows:

• 1 Week Prior: Declutter hosting spaces, finalize any menu or drink items and gather recipes & ingredients. Also establish what you / your co-hosts plan to wear for the event. There’s nothing worse than having a husband bugging you about what looks good when you’re in the middle of cooking, getting yourself ready, and expecting guests in 45 minutes. 😉
• 2 Days Prior: Set up decor. This takes the stress off on the day-of and allows you to fill any decor gaps in the meantime if needed.
• 1 Day Prior: Prep any food that can be / needs to be made ahead of time. Ie. chop veggies, make dips / desserts that can be stored in the fridge, make casseroles that can be stored in fridge then baked on the day-of, etc.
• Day of: Final touches, cook, set the table and ensure everything is ready for guests arrival.
• **Don’t forget to schedule in plenty of time for you to get ready yourself! Shower, hair, makeup, etc.

Set your Menu

If you’re not sure where to start–get to Google’n! Or better yet, ask Chat GPT to create a menu for you. Be sure to tell it any dietary restrictions, what your goal is, how experienced of a chef you are, etc. If you’re not familiar with using an AI service, think of it like if your mom and google blended into one super human. AKA the perfect bottomless pit of solutions to nearly every problem you can think of. Talk to it like you would a person: the more info you give it, the more effective answers you’ll get in return. If you don’t like what you’re getting, tell it and it will pivot! Like the answers its giving you but want to change one thing–tell it that and watch the magic unfold.

Examples for Chat GPT

• “Create a menu for me for a casual friend get-together this weekend where we’ll host 10 of our close friends and their kids. I don’t want to put a lot of work into it, these need to be items that can be thrown together relatively easily but are balanced for a casual hang out for multiple hours and varying ages.”
• “Create a 3-course menu for me for a sit down dinner party for my husband’s birthday. Multiple guests are gluten free and my husband is also allergic to chicken. I am a fairly experienced cook and can handle a diverse range of recipes.”
• “I have friends coming over in 5 hours for a last minute get-together. What are some quick and easy food items I can throw together to snack on while we have a game night?”

Once you have your menu, it’s time to pick recipes. You can either do this the old school way by searching each recipe individually, or you can ask Chat GPT to generate recipes for your menu also. I personally like to go through each menu item individually. I look through various recipe options then pick the recipe that seems most tastey to our preferences & my skillset.

Decorate Your Space

I think this is one area that overwhelms people quickly. There’s so many options out there, and in this Instagram-worthy, Pinterest-inspired world of ours, it can feel daunting to curate decor. Ensuring that it suits your skillset, the theme of the event and not break your budget. But trust me–it can be done.

I always, always, always start with 2 things: What do I already own? & Pinterest.

You want to obviously use things you already own when possible. If you’re new to hosting, you may not have much to choose from at first. But over time, the more you host, the more you’ll have a solid repertoire to pull from in the future.

Retailers for the Basics:

• HomeGoods
• TJMaxx
• Hobby Lobby
• Amazon
• Dollar Tree/Dollar General
• Walmart
• Target

Retailer for Custom Items: Etsy

I prefer to start a new board on Pinterest and just start adding things that inspire me. Search something general, like “thanksgiving decor” or “cozy fall decorations” or “classy birthday party decor”. Then save what speaks to you to your board. Once you’ve built a good base, go into the board, scroll to the bottom, and select “Find More Ideas”. Pinterest will curate more ideas for you inspired by what you’ve already saved.

Budget-Friendly Ideas: Candles & dim the lights. This alone sets a mode without having to spend a bunch of money on decor. Use natural items — dried oranges, pine cones, flowers from Trader Joes, etc.

Overall Rule of Thumb: Stick to a budget, create a color scheme. Don’t underestimate the power of simple decor, appropriate background music & an inviting scent.

And lastly… don’t stress

If you’re a ball of nerves, you’re not going to enjoy yourself and you might even throw off the vibe of the entire gathering. So just go with the flow, if some things don’t go as planned, it’s all good. Do your best and above all, enjoy the time with the people around you. Hosting does require work. You’ll have to focus on some of the more logistical areas during the gathering, but each time you host you’ll get more and more comfortable leading the show with ease.